A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person, but, sometimes things may not end up as one has always dreamed.

Single Mother in Bangladesh | What if that give up phase comes up? Sometimes people do face situations that they never dreamed of, that breaks their soul. But is it the end of someone’s life? Should someone put a full stop to our hopes, ambition, and especially to parenthood.

Single Mother | Single parents, especially moms, face a number of challenges every day across the globe and especially in Bangladesh.

This article is just an attempt to cover all the griefs and challenges of a single mother.

Some women opt for single motherhood, while the majority of them are divorced mothers or widows.

In our patriarchal society, where some people shout that women have now received much more rights than before under the name of feminism, which is, in my belief, a right that women should not ask for or feel entitled to use –

it’s their fundamental right and women are just snatching back their freedom from this patriarchal society.

Maybe feminism, sometimes, has been misused but is it right to generalize it under the topic feminism and suppress the whole movement?

While some women have successfully recognized their fundamental rights and are raising their voices against their suppression, some ladies, at this present era, are suffering silently and paying an emotional cost to start an independent life after marriage, raise their child without a father or even think smoothly of a second marriage.

No one knows the fate of a relationship. It becomes really hard for a single parent to raise up a child all on his/her own.

Apart from social stigma, there are a lot more challenges like:- Financial pressure- Confronting the child- Depression and anxiety- Work/life Balance.- Hard to find reliable childcare support.

Single parents already face too many problems, and talking especially about single mothers, here are some challenges they face every day in Bangladeshi society:

• Lack of a support system
  Besides being the sole breadwinners, they have to take care of their children and mana a home single-handedly. Other than the financial challenges, being a single mother is also emotionally draining and stressful.
  
  The sense of loneliness is enhanced when the workplace environment is unpleasant and not accommodating.

• High vulnerability and being judge
  In Bangladesh, where patriarchy is quite prevalent, a single mother is treated differently from someone who has a husband.
  
  Single moms often face illicit approaches by other men, ranging from mild flirtations to subtle hints to sexual harassment.
  It becomes particularly disturbing for those women who have been victims of harassment, abuse, and domestic violence.
  
  This adds to their stress and they often don’t share their grievances with anyone, fearing being judged. “Being single doesn’t mean that we are available.
  
  It’s important that the way single mothers are perceived in society should change.
  
  Rather than considering a single mother weak, it’s high time society starts looking at our strengths. Even today, single mothers find it difficult to accept their status in an open forum, because people tend to judge.
  
  A divorcee is often judged for her character because, in a patriarchal set-up, women are expected to accept men the way they are.
  
  It doesn’t matter if the husbands are drunkards, gamblers, or womanizers,
  ” says Dhaka-based Kulsom Akter Dipa, who parted ways with her husband many years ago. “I am happy being single, rather than being cheated on,” she adds.

Another single mother, Nusrat Sultana Tanni, says, “Women in Bangladesh and everywhere, are constantly judged.

I have been called strong, willful, headstrong, weak, unsteady, and been pitied. In turn, people have also assumed that I cannot sustain relationships, I am fast/ have a loose character, etc.

I have been cautioned not to post too many pictures on Facebook that show me ‘partying’ or having a good time –

lest people think I am neglecting my child. Patriarchy is age-old and deeply entrenched in most of us, else would we even get married or utter vows to love, honor, and obey?

Despite many examples of strong single mothers, women ably and single-handedly raising their children in Bangladesh today, she is still expected to be ‘sanskaari’, waiting for the next man/ marriage, and made the butt of jokes and snide remarks.”

City-based media professional, Riya (Not Actual Name), shares, “I often face this (being approached by men), but since I have been a single mom for a while, I know how to overcome such situations.

I chose the path (single motherhood) for a reason and I have proven to the world that I’m a confident woman, who can fight all the challenges with a smile on my face.”

• Social pressures of getting married
  Many single mothers have experienced that in Bangladesh, there’s always the pressure of getting married. “Society conveniently ignores the complex family bond that might get created if a single mother remarries.
  
  It’s (remarriage) a risk, which may work or may fail miserably. But as a single parent, unsolicited advice is bound to come your way,” says Dr. Noor.
  
  Single mothers are becoming frequent in present Bangladesh with the ongoing globalization, urbanization, and more recently on account of raped or unmarried women willing to bring up their child all on their own.
  
  On their way to parenting, women have to face various hardships from the Government administration, schools, and most importantly from the patriarchal society like:
  
  All forms mandate that the father’s name be written who is considered the ‘first guardian’ of the child. Divorced women are seen with contempt by the neighborhood while a widow is sympathized instead of empathetic.
  
  Single woman is harassed expecting her weak to react. Some unmarried women are even forced to leave the child in an orphanage or face ostracization by their own family or society.
  
  The child is also at times ill-treated on account of having no father.
  Her friendship with male colleagues has seen with suspicion and her character assassinated.
  
  Financial troubles as they are the sole breadwinner of the family.
  Sometimes face emotional trauma as they have no one to share their problems with.
  
  Bangladeshi society has traditionally laid more emphasis on the “ideal family led by father” than on individual choice. Hemmed with the global current of change, the patriarchal society is yet to adjust to the concept of single mothers.
  
  The reaction of conservative elements has been severe, and sometimes even humiliating. The single women, whether unwed or divorced, are seen with distrust and considered incapable of handling relationships.
  
  They are often also discriminated against in career opportunities.
  
  Till recently, such discrimination even had a legal sanction. The Guardianship and Wards act denied single mothers complete guardianship of their children and put them at the mercy of the unconcerned child’s father.
  
  The challenge of demolishing deep-seated patriarchies in society will require far more than legal tinkering. It calls for a change in the mental attitude of society.